Some females find them sexy.
Ew. Ew. Ew.
I, do not. Never have. Never will. I find them nasty & repulsive.
They remind me of 70's porn...
If you have a mustache, trim that shit and trim it tight.
If you don't, any conversation we have will consist of me watching the wayward hairs on your mustache bounce in different directions when you talk.
I will also be inspecting for crumbs or various other pieces of GOD only knows what - furtively hidden within the confines of your hairy upper lip.
Many times, I will try to figure out what it was you had for lunch, because the remnants are boppin around in the hairy nest below your nose.
Disgusting.
This is only aggravated by the fact that I work with a lot of males that have them. My fiance has NOTHING to worry about. Instant deal-breaker on so many levels.
One guy keeps a mustache comb in his desk. While this weirds me out, at least it keeps his unruly hairs in line and, as a result, is far less of a conversation distraction for me. However, watching him whip out his mustache comb multiple times a day still grosses the shit out of me.
I don't know why adding a goatee makes a difference, but lone mustaches just give me the eebie jeebies and force me to question your taste. If you think that looks cool or sexy, you are far more misguided than I want any part of.
Unruly, unkept beards aren't hot either. And I mean the crazy Walt Whitman, Unibomber beard. And the older I get, the more tolerable beards become. But NOT the mustache.
Creepers have mustaches.
Weirdos have mustaches.
Wanna-be macho men have mustaches.
Molesters (at least in my mind) have mustaches.
Blech.
Side by side - there is no comparison.... it NEVER looks better with a mustache. NEVER.
November 2012 was a HORRIBLE month for me because of "Mo-vember"... where it became a trend for guys to grow out their mustaches for some kind of cause started by someone in Australia. Someone who wanted to skeeve me out for a month straight. Turning clean shaven men everywhere into monsters with mustaches. Please, Lord. Do NOT let this become a yearly trend. I truly cannot handle seeing mustaches wherever I go.
Stop the insanity. I wish I could walk around with razors as a public service.
But then you get the occasional female who say they like them. They probably like back hair too?
Just googling mustache gives you a shitload of images of mustache cupcakes. WTF! Who wants to insinuate having a furry mound of hair atop a cupcake would be a tasty thing?
No thanks. Seriously.
Seriously.
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