Some people don't like snakes.
Some people don't like the dark.
Some people don't like spiders.
I am one of THOSE people.
Centipedes & spiders will send me running and screaming like there is an axe murderer on my ass.
There is a spider in my mailbox. As a result, my sally-ass refuses to get the mail in. Every time I gather up the balls to retrieve the mail, the spider is somewhere within and the mail ends up scattered across the lawn. Then it becomes a game of pick-up-sticks - poking & flipping each piece of mail with oven mitts on until each individual piece has been deemed safe.
Eff you junk mail. You make my life difficult.
Fucking spiders.
And its not just one. I don't think, anyway. In order for it to be just one spider, it would mean that the asshole would have to crawl all the way across the lawn from wherever I flung him and all the way up the wall & back into the mailbox to wait for me the next day. I shiver at this even being a possibility.
I instead, prefer to believe that the mailbox is just a preferred piece of real-estate, ready to be inhabited the moment it goes on the market and spiders are clamoring for a piece of some of my mailbox action.
Maybe the mailman watches this fiasco from afar and delivers me a new spider daily. I rule out nothing.
Today is my birthday, and it rained today. I'm not in the mood to go through the entire ordeal and get the cards wet in the process.
I've tried RAID, and everything else I can imagine. I have even mastered a "flip & peek" maneuver, but I am a chicken shit - because inevitably I know there is one in there lurking - stalking me. I wish I could get a restraining order on spiders, because this is harassment.
I guess I'll have to wait for my mail.
You live to die another day spider.
People with apartment building style indoor mailboxes have no idea just how good they have it.
This post is dedicated to Kim DeCoste. It was NOT done on my laptop, so I am NOT responsible for any lack of amusement within.
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